This Coco is a nut

Yes, this is an actual product -- and yes, Noy's choices for his government have so far been LIGHT.

Looks like someone forgot to take her happy pills, or probably neglected to attend the P-Noy media seminar. During her “impromptu” press con, former media person (and now Commission of Human Rights commish) Coco Quisumbing did her best tyrannical kindergarten teacher impression and admonished press people into disgust and/or submission.

She wanted people to be in her line of sight. She wanted reporters to be nice. She wanted the press to raise their hands if they understood her rules prior to the press con.

Geesh, Coco! Are you nuts?

Another weirdo in the P-Noy administration. So what’s new?

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What? No more ammo?

Puh-leez.  Here’s something to get your teeth around. I had a hearty laugh when I got this via e-mail.

I’ll be back. Gotta earn money, you know? Hugs!🙂

EXCLUSIVE! Noynoy Interviews Kris

10 08 2010

Ang Pangulo at si Kris Aquino:
The unpublished, unedited, and uncomfortable tell-all interview*
President Aquino (NOY): I must admit. Medyo kinakabahan pa ‘ko. First time kong gagawin ito at ikaw pa ang una kong interviewee. Bahala na.
Kris Aquino (KRIS): Ano ka ba Noy! ‘Di ba nag-usap na tayo? Nabrief ka na rin ni Boy at ni Tita Maria Montelibano, right? Even ian, the headwriter has talked to you. Kaloka ka huh! Meron ka namang set of questions ‘di ba? Go!
NOY: Wait, para saan nga ba ‘to?
KRIS: Hay naku! You’re so kulit! ‘Di ba I explained na nga kagabi? Last Sunday kasi, lumabas sa TV ang nanay ng future-ex husband ko; ‘yong bayaw mong babaero! The public sympathizes with him na raw according to my sources. I need your help. Kailangang bumalik sa ‘kin ang simpatya ng publiko.
NOY: Eh bakit ako? Bakit ‘di si Boy na lang?
KRIS: ‘Di pwede. Kakatapos lang ng interview niya sa akin sa SNN at The Buzz. Redundant na. Magsasawa ang tao.
NOY: So dapat talaga ako?!?
KRIS: Dapat lang ‘no! Remember, I donated 15 million pesos to your campaign!
NOY: Tsk… tsk… tsk. Sige na nga pero sa isang kondisyon!
KRIS: What?
NOY: Can we also talk about issues? I mean, mga usaping panlipunan o pulitika, para naman ‘di ako magmukhang showbiz lang.
KRIS: Deal! Start na tayo, bilis at naghihintay na sa akin si Bambi Fuentes. Boy, Ian ready na ba ang camera? Take na tayo! Game!
Tape rolling! 3… 2… 1 and … !
NOY: Mga kaibigan, ikinalulugod ko pong ipakilala sa inyo ang aking pinakabatang kapatid, Kris Aquino-Yap.
KRIS: Cut!!! Noyyyyy, ano ba? What do you mean, ipakilala??? Hello?!? I’m more famous than you ‘noh? And what’s with the Yap thing? Eeeew! Drop the Yap okay? His mom hates me na nga ‘di ba? Take 2 tayo, Boy. Gosh!
NOY: Okay! Okay! Sorry.
Take 2! Tape rolling! 3… 2… 1 and … !
NOY: Mga kababayan, nahaharap tayo sa isang sangandaan. Sa isang banda ay ang baluktot na daan. Sa kabilang banda ay ang tuwid na daan. Matagal pong naligaw…
KRIS: Cut!!! Noyyyyyy!? Tapos na ang SONA my goodness! Trabaho na tayo okay? Enough of slogans and catchphrases!
NOY: Sorry, sorry. Kinakabahan lang talaga ako. Pangako… perfect ko na ‘to!
Take 3! Tape rolling! 3… 2… 1 and … !
NOY: Mga kababayan, iisa lang ang aking bise-presidente! Si Mar Roxas ang aking bise-presidente!
KRIS: My god! Noy! The campaign is over! Accept the fact that Mar lost the polls, hello!
NOY: Sorry ulit.
Take 4! Tape rolling! 3… 2… 1 and … !
NOY: Puwedeng mag-yosi muna?
KRIS: Hell, no! Mali-late na ko! Tapusin na natin ‘to puwede ba?!
NOY: Sige na nga! Game.
Take 5! Tape rolling! 3… 2… 1 and … !
NOY: Mga kababayan, narito na po si Kris Aquino! Kris, paaaaaaasok!
KRIS: Cut!!! Noy naman! Sa ABS ‘to eere! Linya ‘yan ng newscaster sa kabila! Ano ka ba!?
NOY: Ay oo nga pala! Pasensya! Pasensya!
Take 6! Tape rolling! 3… 2… 1 and … !
NOY: Mga kaibigan, ang aking pinakabatang kapatid, si Kris Aquino.
KRIS: Hi Noy! Sorry, how do I address you nga pala? Bro? Mr. President? Kuya? Baka kasi sabihin nila rude ako if I just call you Noy.
NOY: No! Okay lang. Puwede na ‘yon.
KRIS: You look great by the way. Liz Uy, if you’re watching, you’re doing a great job on my brother. Thank you so much! Hello sa lahat ng Kapamilyang nanonood lalung-lalo na sa mga TFC subscribers.

NOY: Kris, hindi na ‘ko magpapaliguy-ligoy pa. Noong Sunday, nagsalita ang ina ni James Yap sa kabilang himpilan.
KRIS: Really?!? Gosh. Hindi ko alam. Hindi ko napanood. In fact, kung ‘di mo sinabi Noy, hindi ko malalaman! Besides, she’s not the type of person na magsasalita sa TV. I swear, napakabait at napakatahimik pong tao ng mommy ni James. That’s so sad.
NOY: Isa-isahin natin ang kanyang mga sinabi. Hindi raw talaga siya boto sa ‘yo para kay James.
KRIS: Noy, kilala mo ako. Pinalaki tayo ng ating mga magulang na may respeto sa nakakatanda sa atin. Pero kung masasakit na salita na ang ibinabato nila, siguro naman, may karapatan tayong umilag. Kung nanonood po kayo ngayon Mrs. Annie Yap: Maayos ko kayong hinarap nang bumisita ako sa Escalante City. I’m not used to spending the night in a remote village lalo na sa isang lugar na yari sa pawid at kawayan ang mga bahay. Pero tiniis ko po ‘yon dahil mahal ko ang anak n’yo. Now, kung sasabihin n’yo po na ayaw n’yo pala sa akin… magiging prangka na po ako. How sure are you na gusto ko kayo? I’m sorry Noy pero nagpapakatotoo lang ako.
NOY: Can I say something? Pasensya na po kayo Mrs. Yap. Medyo masama lang po ang…
KRIS: No! ‘Wag mo ‘kong pangunahan Noy! Magso-sorry ako kung kailangan. Next question please!
NOY: May anak na raw si James nang magpakasal kayo…
KRIS: Meron din ako! Mas malaki pa!
NOY: Oo nga noh?!? ‘Di ko naisip ‘yon ah!
KRIS: Heller! Araw-araw kayong naglalaro ng PSP, nalimutan mo na agad si Josh! Grabehhh!
NOY: Mahal mo pa ba si James?
KRIS: Mahal mo pa ba si Korina?
NOY: Sus, bakit naman ako nadamay?
KRIS: Kainis kasi ang question mo eh. I hate him! I super hate him! As in! Promise!

NOY: Moving on… sabi sa diyaryo, kayo na raw ni Makati City Mayor Junjun Binay, ‘yong partner ko sa target shooting sa Antipolo tuwing weekend. Totoo ba?
KRIS: Careful Noy. Baka magalit na naman sa ‘kin sina Mar at Korina. Alam mo namang mainit sa ‘kin ang mga friends mo sa Liberal ‘di ba? Baka isipin na naman nilang Noy-Bi ang ibinoto ko. Gosh! They’re so right! Ooops, me and my big mouth. Boy, alisin na lang sa editing ‘yong sinabi ko, okay?
NOY: So ano nga? Kayo na ba ni Junjun?
KRIS: Grabeh ka naman Noy. Mag-fi-first death anniversary pa lang on August 11 ang wife niya ‘noh? Ayokong magsalita. It’s inappropriate. Close lang kami talaga. He’s really nice to me. It’s really not the right time to speak about any romance. I admit though na malapit kami ngayon sa isa’t isa at nasa kanya ang qualities na hinahanap ko sa isang guy. Mabait, caring, thoughtful, intellectual. Pero sabi ko nga Noy, it’s inappropriate to talk about us. Pero ‘yon nga, Junjun is an ideal man. Kung makikipag-date ulit ako sa isang lalaki, siya ‘yong unang-una kong idi-date. Ewan ko lang kung pareho kami ng taste sa food pero I heard he likes paella. And I do know how to cook great paella. But then again, it’s improper to talk about dates lalo pa’t magbababang-luksa pa lang sila. Ikaw Noy, okay lang ba sa ‘yo kung lumabas kami ni Junjun? Single naman siya ‘di ba? Basta, I promise to talk about him sa appropriate time. ‘Wag ngayon. Ayaw ko munang magsalita ng kahit ano. And I mean nothing! Sorry talaga. Wala akong sasabihin! Sanga pala, Cancer siya, Aquarian ako. Compatible kaya kami?

NOY: Ano naman ‘tong nabalitaan kong pati ang kaibigan kong si Chiz Escudero eh nali-link sa ‘yo?
KRIS: Aha-ha-ha! Gosh, that’s funny. He’s married okay? Never akong pumatol sa lalaking may sabit!
NOY: Ehem… Philip Salvador.
KRIS: I mean, sa may sabit na senador! Aha-ha-ha! By the way, hello Senator Loren!

NOY: Maiba ako. Marami kasi ang nakakapansin – parang hindi mo raw type si Shalani para sa akin?
KRIS: That’s unfair. That’s preposterous. That’s ridiculous. That’s absurd! That’s baseless! We’re friends. Wait… what’s the name of that girl again?
NOY: Shalani.
KRIS: Oh, Shahani.
NOY: No! Shalani.
KRIS: Ahh, Salami.
NOY: Nang-iinsulto ka?!?
KRIS: Namumuwersa ka?!? Eh hindi ko talaga siya like eh! Anong magagawa mo? Next question!
NOY: Seryosong usapan. Ano ang naramdaman mo nang hindi maging Senate President si Kiko Pangilinan?
KRIS: Ikaw, anong naramdaman mo?
NOY: Huh?
KRIS: Aha-ha-ha! You huh! Maang-maangan school of acting ka Noy! ‘Di mo naman keri! ‘Di ba nga you sought my help pa to campaign for him? O, ‘wag kang tatanggi!
NOY: Kris naman…
KRIS: Mga kababayan, pasensya na po. Hindi good liar ‘tong presidente n’yo. Aha-ha-ha!
NOY: Pinapahiya mo ko…
KRIS: No! I’m just being honest. Kiko was your choice for the Senate presidency! Even Shawie asked me kung pwede ko raw tawagan sina Bong, Jinggoy at Tito Sen to vote for him. Unfortunately, nag-leak sa media. Hay naku Noy, ‘wag ka nang mag-deny! Aha-ha-ha!
NOY: Change topic na nga! What do you think of my Communications Group?
KRIS: I’m not really familiar with them Noy. Sorry. Ang kilala ko lang sina Manolo Quezon at Ricky Carandang kasi nakikita ko sila sa studio ng ANC. But that was before! Ngayon, ang madalas ko nang makita sa ANC… ‘yong Edwin Lacierda! Semi-regular ba siya? Aha-ha-ha!
NOY: The Marcoses are back in Congress. Bongbong is in the Senate; Mrs. Marcos is in the Lower House. Anong masasabi mo?
KRIS: You know what Noy? Ayoko nang magsalita about them out of respect na rin sa mga taong naghalal sa kanila. Let history be the judge. Naniniwala naman ako sa karma eh. Look at one of her daughters. I won’t name names pero kapag nagsasalita siya, hindi bumubuka ang kanyang bibig. If that’s not karma, I don’t know what it is. Hindi ko siya kinaya Noy! Ang weird!!!

KRIS: Wait, before I forget. I saw your photo nga pala with your first monthly paycheck. It’s splashed all over the Internet. Gosh, what were you thinking?
NOY: Bakit? Anong masama do’n? ‘Di naman pagyayabang ‘yong ginawa ko ah.
KRIS: Hello?!!! Noy naman! Why flaunt a mere 63 thousand-peso salary!?? Nakakahiya! That amount is so unCojuangco! Basta! ‘Wag mo nang uulitin!
NOY: By the way, did you read the exclusive interview of The Professional Kegler with former President Arroyo?
KRIS: Noy… Heckler not Kegler! Hindi naman siya bowler noh! Blogger siya! Anyway no, why?
NOY: There’s a Rapid Round of questions sa interview. Ako rin, merong Rapid Round for you. I’d mention names of political and entertainment figures, give me a movie title to describe them.
KRIS: Aha-ha-ha! Bahala ka Noy huh! Go ako d’yan pero walang sisihan kung may masaktan. Basta ako, magiging honest lang. Go!
NOY: Let’s start with Vice President Jojo Binay…
KRIS: Hmm, “The Dark Knight.” I love you Tito Jojo!
NOY: Former First Ladies Ming Ramos, Imelda Marcos, and Loi Estrada…
KRIS: “The Good, the Bad, and the…” I’m so bad Noy! Nagmake-peace na nga tayo sa family nila ‘di ba? Pass na lang!
NOY: Sen. Manny Villar…
KRIS: “Kung Mangarap Ka’t Magising.” Hello Nanay Curing!
NOY: Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile…
KRIS: Jurassic Park. Aha-ha-ha!
NOY: Sen. Bong Revilla…
KRIS: Ayoko! Baka magalit si Lani.
NOY: KoRni naman nito. Ano nga?
KRIS: For Bong? Hmm… SE7EN.
NOY: At sino namang nagsabi sa ‘yo?
KRIS: Noy!!!! You’re so green! SE7EN kasi taga-kabila siya ‘noh! Gosh! Ang dirty talaga ng mind mo!
NOY:Former PAGASA chief Prisco Nilo…
KRIS: Hay naku Noy! Alam mo, madaming nagalit sa ‘yo for sacking him. You and your advisers talaga! Pati PAGASA, pinupulitika n’yo!
NOY: Bawiin mo ‘yan!
KRIS: Noooo! True naman ‘di ba? ‘Yong maliliit lang ang kaya n’yong sibakin nang biglaan sa puwesto! Basta! Wala akong title for Mr. Prisco Nilo pero may title ako para sa ‘yo at sa mga advisers mo na nagsabing ifire mo siya!
NOY: Ano ‘yon?
KRIS: “The Ant Bully!” At ‘di ko babawiin ‘yan!
NOY: Okay, next! Puregold owner Lucio Co…
KRIS: Noooooo! Endorser si Boy ng Puregold, Noy! Ayokong mag-comment.
NOY: C’mon. Alam mo naman ang isyu kay Mr. Lucio Co ‘di ba?
KRIS: Sige na nga! Pero Boy, walang personalan huh. Based lang ito sa mga naglalabasang reports since the time of former President Erap. Para kay Mr. Lucio Co? Hmm, “Big Fish.” Shockkks! Did I really say that? I just said “Big Fish” okay? I didn’t say na smuggler siya! Malinaw ‘yon huh. Wala akong sinabi about smuggling. Promise!
NOY: Vicki Belo…
KRIS: Hay naku! You’re putting me on the spot Noy! Endorser ako ng Belo Medical Clinic ‘noh!
NOY: Akala ko ba honest ka?
KRIS: Sige na nga. Pero Vicki, if you’re watching, nothing personal okay? Game lang ‘to. The movie to describe her???? Hmmm, “Face/Off.” I love you Vicki!
NOY: Finally, movie titles to describe Chiz Escudero and Junjun Binay…
KRIS: Seriously?
NOY: Yeah! Seriously!
KRIS: Honestly?
NOY: Of course!
KRIS: Katulad ng nasabi ko, I may not be perfect but I’m not a liar. So para kina Chiz and Junjun… physically? “The Hottie and the Nottie.” Gosh! I’m so mean. Pero promise, si Junjun ang pinaka-close sa akin ngayon! True ‘yan!
NOY: Salamat Kris.
KRIS: Wait!!! Bago matapos ang interview na ito Noy, gusto lang kitang tanungin. Tutal, past is past na naman ‘di ba? For a while kasi, nagkasama kami ni Korina sa isang morning show. Gusto ko lang malaman, what went wrong with your relationship? Sino ang nakipag-break?
NOY: Seriously?
KRIS: Yeah, seriously.
NOY: Honestly?
KRIS: Of course!
NOY: Well, ‘yan ang dapat nilang abangan sa susunod kong tell-all interview!
KRIS: You’re so madaya! Kainish! Nambitin pa! Is Korina a good kisser? Did she use her tongue? Gosh, I’ll wait for that interview!
NOY: Before we end this interview, what do you want to tell James in case he’s watching?
KRIS: I’m sure he’s not! Malamang nanonood na naman ‘yon ng Mr. Bean. Wala akong message! Besides, he won’t understand naman my Ateneo-accented English eh. It’ll just be a waste of my ptialina amylase!
NOY: Any final message?
KRIS: Noy, words won’t be enough to express my pride, gratitude, and happiness in having you as a brother. Sobrang proud kami nina Ate Ballsy, Ate Pinky at Ate Viel sa mga na-achieve mo… although ‘di pa masyadong marami. I’m sure, Mom and Dad are equally proud of their only son. Huwag mong bibiguin ang ating mga kababayan lalung-lalo na ang mga volunteers na sumuporta sa ‘yo. [By the way, wala ka bang maibibigay na puwesto kay Juana Change? Nagkabati na ba sila ni Attorney Lacierda?] Sana magtuluy-tuloy ang iyong magandang simula hanggang sa katapusan ng iyong termino. Magbabantay ako. Magmamasid kaming lahat. Huwag kang mag-alala. Sa 2016, kapag wala na akong problema sa personal kong buhay, baka ako na ang magpatuloy sa iyong nasimulan para sa ating bayan… ‘yon ay kung makukumbinsi ko si Chiz na kunin akong runningmate. Chizzy-Krissy, cute naman ‘di ba? Aminin mo! Catchy ‘yon!
NOY: Maraming salamat din Kris. Despite your idiosyncrasies, mahal ka pa rin ng buong pamilya. At bilang kapatid mo, wala akong masabi. Wala akong maidagdag. Wala akong choice! Maraming salamat sa iyong oras and…
KRIS: Wait! After a 45-day hiatus, my Twitter account is alive again! O, ‘wag nang tumaas ang kilay! I know, nag-promise akong ‘di na magtu-Twitter. Pero ‘di ko kaya eh! So follow me on Twitter, @iamkrisaquino! Now na! Thank you Noy!
NOY: Aren’t you gonna plug your noontime show?
KRIS: No, na! Thanks. ‘Di ako masyadong proud sa programa eh! Bye!

END OF INTERVIEW.


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From Kamag-anak, Inc. to Abad-anak, Inc.

Boss Noy: "If you have any problems with me, take it up with an Abad near you."

A Philippine Star article opened thus:

“Having four Abads in government does not bother President Aquino.

“Mr. Aquino vouched for his Budget Secretary Florencio “Butch” Abad Jr.’s integrity during a chance interview… He said Abad underwent the same vetting as all candidates to government posts did, and reminded journalists that the Cabinet member has yet to be accused of any wrongdoing in any of the posts that he had handled.

The piece goes on to say the following, and take note of the HUGE roles of the Abads.

  1. Butch Abad served as LP campaign manager.
  2. Butch’s daughter Julia served as Noynoy’s chief of staff when he was senator, and now heads the Presidential Management Staff (PMS).
  3. Julia is also in charge of the President’s Social Fund (or presidential pork barrel) – estimated at P500 million A YEAR.
  4. Butch’s son Luis is chief of staff of former Hyatt 10er, the wily Cesar Purisima, who is now Finance Secretary.
  5. The wife of Luis, Henedina, is a representative of Batanes and is said to be “interested in becoming the vice chair of the House appropriations committee.”

P-Noy continues: “First of all, I don’t think we violated any law. Second, I think they have proven their worth,” Mr. Aquino said. “To critics who would not want to give a honeymoon period, salamat na lang (thank you).”

Pikon talaga.

Presidential spokesman Edwin Lacierda meanwhile said: “Their competence (the Abads’) will prove them; their integrity will prove them. President Aquino trusts them. You must remember, when you’re choosing Cabinet members, you have to have the trust and confidence of the President.”

All I hear is yada-yada. It’s all elementary, though.

What can you expect from a president who is himself the product of nepotism and blind loyalty? Is it really much of a surprise that this cloistered and sheltered man now has problems of finding competent individuals to man his cabinet outside of the familiar fawning faces that had sucked at his yellow teats?

A monopoly of power from the Republic of Oligarchies. Figures.

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P-Noy the meddler

Time Out: Same old, same old. What did you expect?

First things first.

jbestillore@gmail.com writes: “Too afraid to tell the readers who you are? Look at the life you have first before looking at the lives of others as if you are the god of your own world. God bless you. — J”

Well, yes, I take a look at my life every day. I try to live it as upright and well as I can. How about you? And, more importantly, how about our dear President? I mean, it’s certainly fair to say that what I do has much less effect than what our new President does. And that’s why we need to be critical and observant about how our Chief Executive manages the country.

And, by the way, yes. I am the god of this blog. You can create your own if you want. And don’t greet me with your plastic “God bless you.” Salamat.

* * *

In other news, as if he hasn’t have enough in his hands, Mr. President is interfering in matters of the Senate.

Maybe he thinks he is still a Senator.

Maybe he thinks that as President he can very damn well do anything he wants. Ever heard of the separation of the three branches of government, sir? So keep your hands off the Sen. Trillanes case, then. As PDI reports: “President Benigno “Noynoy” Aquino’s order for the Department of Justice to review the case of detained Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV was tantamount to presidential meddling in the judiciary and of the Senate, especially with the chamber having only one week to decide on whom to install as its leader, two veteran senators said on Sunday.”

But, of course, we know that there is much at stake in the Senate. In a week, we will be knowing who the next Senate President will be.

The LP mafia is scrambling mightily to get the numbers so they can install Sen. Kiko Pangilinan. Experience-wise, however, it is apparent that Ate Shawie’s hubby doesn’t hold a candle to Sen. Manny Villar of the Nacionalista Party.

But, hey, this is the Philippines. We’ve seen weirder stuff — like a non-starter becoming president.

Going back to P-Noy, if he’s in a pakialamero mood, why doesn’t he check on Sen. Ping Lacson? Oh, I forgot. Kakampi nga pala. Done deal already.

It pays to check on someone who’s not yet in your back pocket.

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P-Noy and co. play the blame game

ABAD Secretary: Hello, sir. Welcome to six years of incompetence!

“Warm-up” was the cheeky title of the Philippine Star editorial to describe the spate of breakdowns and snafus following Basyang, the first powerful typhoon to take a swing at us post GMA.

Indeed, one can only shake his head at how the country went to the dogs over one typhoon. The power went pfft, PAGASA screwed up in its forecast, ships and boats were totaled or sank off Bataan, flights were diverted or cancelled altogether, and, most significantly, people died, went missing or were injured.

And how did our brave new president cope with this? Well, he scolded PAGASA for the faulty forecast. ““This is not acceptable. I hope this is the last time that we are all brought to areas different from where we should be,” he said, with a half grin plastered on his face (doesn’t it bother you that Ngoyngoy always seems to have one expression?).

PAGASA Administrator Prisco Nilo later told the media that they did their best considering the equipment (as usual, outdated) they work with.

So we ask Noy: is it really necessary for you to shame your officials when you do not equip them with the right tools? And in a foretaste of the lack of Presidential BALLS, P-Ngoy brushed aside the recommendation to increase the calamity fund, saying they have to consult first with the Department of Budget and Management.

“We have to wait for the DBM. All the agencies have needs. We have to consult the DBM and national treasury first, and our economic managers still have to manage the debt cut. I will wait for them to discuss this,” he said, BALLS absent.

Yeah, that’s what you should do. Sit down and study.

* * *

Meanwhile, the equally shorn Butch Abad of the Department of Budget also pointed a finger elsewhere — specifically the GMA administration. Oo na, oo na. GMA and co. should have been more prudent about spending calamity funds.

Reports our favorite ABS-CBN news:

Budget Secretary Butch Abad on Wednesday said he will audit the P2-billion calamity fund after discovering that 70% of the fund has been spent in the first 6 months of 2010 despite the absence of any major disaster in the past months.

“Wala na tayong buffer fund,” Abad said. “Wala kasi silang foresight. Why allot only P2 billion when they knew marami pang pagkakagastusan at bagyong darating?”

Faced with a shortage of calamity funds, Abad said the government can source calamity funds from lawmakers’ pork barrel and the budget allocated for the president’s trips abroad.

When will the buck-passing stop and action begin? Oo na, kayo na magaling.

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This golf cheat wants to go after Customs cheats. Ano kamo?

Another dubious character soon at a PNoy post near you.

The reasoning is sound enough: if you cheat in a sport (such as golf), one can safely assume you cheat in other, more important and bigger stuff.

That’s why all the hullabaloo about new Customs Commissioner Angelito Alvarez should be taken seriously.

He cheated on his scorecard at the Alabang Golf and Country Club – conniving with his caddy to get a better score, yet was caught red-handed.

Every golf aficionado will tell you, recent Tiger scandal notwithstanding, that gold is a gentleman’s game. It is a sport that is much like tennis – deeply rooted in tradition and history when men were gentlemen and ladies were proper and reserved.

Well, sorry. Welcome to the new millennium – when people make promises they don’t intend to keep, and will suck up like leeches just to get a cushy post.

Alvarez keeps insisting he did nothing wrong, and blames everyone else for “setting him up.”

The country club has quickly moved to sanction this embarrassment – suspending his playing rights for six months. The Inquirer reports that he “punished by the club’s board, which found that he and three other golfers in his foursome (let’s call them the fucked up foursome – O.N.) committed ‘gross violations of the rule of golf’ during the well-attended Mango Tee member-guest tournament in February.”

Alvarez is also barred from the premises of the club during the suspension, and from joining the Mango Tee for five long years.

The Inquirer reports: “I was asked by my caddy to sign my scorecard, which I did (after the round) without the benefit of rechecking my hole-by-hole scores,” said Alvarez, the former chair of the Philippine Basketball Association.

Stupid, stupid. Don’t you know better than to look at and study something BEFORE you affix your signature, Mr. Commish?

Anyway, this weasel is, well, trying to weasel his way out of the mess he’s in by turning the tables and threatening to go after “name-droppers and influence peddlers in his effort to clean up the bureau.”

Uhm, methinks he should prioritize going after golf cheats.

PNoy, so far your choice of people is pretty spotty, at best.

Or are we again expecting too much from you?

Kick this Alvarez out.

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Of blind yellow faith and SELECTIVE truth commissions

Noynoy! Noynoy! Noynoy! You are the bomb! We love you, almighty PNOY!

Some people who frequent this blog still don’t get it.

I mean, is there an unknown dictum or law of the universe that OhNoy overlooked, saying we can’t criticize the PRESIDENT of the Philippines? Such irony that when they were in the so-called opposition, these yellows didn’t mince any words for La Gloria.

Now, they’re the self-righteous pit bulls rallying foursquare in front of their Homer Simpson, snapping and biting at people who see errors or flaws in their anointed savior.

What was good for you isn’t good for us?

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The Inquirer (also known as the Aquino Newsletter) reports:

MANILA, Philippines—A week into their jobs, members of President Benigno Aquino III’s official family will undergo a “seminar” to better meet an emerging challenge: how to deal with the media.

This was disclosed Monday by the President himself, following abrasive encounters between the press and two Cabinet members that marked the supposed honeymoon period traditionally enjoyed by a new administration.

Mr. Aquino said the seminar would have topics like “how to handle media, how to improve relations with everybody, how to get the (government’s) message across.”

“The seminar will be had by most of the Cabinet, especially those who are new in government,” he told reporters at Villamor Air Base in Pasay City.

“We want to engage the people on the agenda that we have—so the best way is through you—and to communicate what the plans are, the timeframe. Not just the substance, the form is also very important,” he added.

Presidential spokesperson Edwin Lacierda immediately issued a disclaimer: “It’s not because I’m pikon (quick-tempered).”

“In our first Cabinet meeting, President Aquino told us, ‘All of you will be undergoing media seminar like what I went through when I ran for senator and for President,’” the Palace official said.

First batch

Lacierda said the first batch taking the seminar on Wednesday would include himself and two other Cabinet officials.

He said he still had no idea how it would exactly go, but surmised that it would be similar to the seminar he undertook to prepare for Aquino’s presidential campaign.

“(That) one was really (about) how to answer questions, how to phrase your answer, and how to comport yourself, especially when confronted with difficult questions,” he recalled. “It’s the typical ‘how to handle, how to deal with media.’”

The campaign gave him plenty of experience as Aquino’s spokesperson, but Lacierda’s first few days as Malacañang mouthpiece turned out to be anything but smooth.

Some members of the Malacañang Press Corps complained, for example, when he failed to show up for a morning press briefing but granted an interview only with cable channel ANC.

‘Forgive us’

The press conference was arranged supposedly to clarify matters surrounding a presidential memorandum circular on the status of government workers, among them contractual employees.

Also last week, Education Secretary Armin Luistro snapped at a reporter for asking about the controversial sex education program of his predecessor.

“Forgive us because we are new to the job, especially me,” Lacierda said, adding that he had actually begun looking for more spokespersons to join his team.

Mr. Aquino also said he was still in the process of completing the Palace communications group, which would include the Office of the Press Secretary as one of its line agencies.

“It will have more functions than just a press office,” he said.

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Apparently, it’s not just P-Ngoy who is learning on the job.

How many times should we say WE TOLD YOU SO!

Honeymoon, shmoneymoon. If P-Ngoy and his sycophantic cabinet think we owe them a honeymoon period, then they’ve got another thing coming.

When you conduct yourself as they had during the campaign period — full of self-righteousness, bombast, and hatred for the opposition — you lose that privilege.

You will be judged as you judge.

As you can see, the people Noynoy selects for his Cabinet cut from the same cheap cloth. They assume infallibility and expect to be put atop a pedestal and admired like a piece of crystal. Don’t ever make the mistake of criticizing them or you’ll get it!

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File this under: BE CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU WISH FOR.

Probe past administrations too, Cardinal urges Aquino
JERRIE ABELLA, GMANews.TV

07/04/2010 | 03:33 PM
Investigate the former president, but include the previous administrations as well.

Manila Archbishop Gaudencio Cardinal Rosales thus chided President Benigno Simeon “Noynoy” Aquino III for having his Truth Commission focus on the alleged crimes of his predecessor, now Pampanga Rep. Gloria Arroyo, saying he should at least be consistent and probe other past administrations.

“We should be consistent. Even former presidents who allegedly committed similar mistakes during their administration should be submitted for investigation,” Rosales said in an article posted on the news site of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines.

The bishop nevertheless said he favored subjecting Arroyo to an investigation. “It’s just right to bring (before justice) all those who violated the law, not just one person, so that it would (appear) as a lesson to all,” he added.

While Arroyo could be liable for some wrongdoings, she is not the only one who should be charged, according to the Archbishop of Manila.

Aquino formed the Truth Commission, an independent body headed by a former Arroyo ally and retired Supreme Court Chief Justice Hilario Davide Jr., to investigate allegations of corruption, human rights violation and other excesses of the previous administration.

Not the man

In a statement Sunday, Sen. Jinggoy Estrada asked Aquino to “reconsider” Davide’s appointment, saying the former chief justice is not the “man for the job”.

Estrada, the son of ousted President Joseph Estrada, accused Davide of “blatant disregard of the rule of law” when he administered the presidential oath to then Vice President Arroyo, following massive street protests calling on the older Estrada’s resignation.

The senator added that Davide was himself the subject of allegations of corruption, which formed the basis of an impeachment complaint filed against the former chief justice but never transmitted to the Senate because of his alleged “high-handed manipulation.”

“Mr. Davide is clearly linked to Mrs. Arroyo’s arrogant disregard of established procedures, illegal and immoral actions and wanton violation of the rule of law,” Estrada said in the statement. “I’m afraid, like many others are, that having Mr. Davide in the Truth Commission will taint the integrity of the body and thus adversely affect the new administration’s thrust toward utmost adherence to law and overall good governance,” his statement read.

Presidential spokesperson Edwin Lacierda earlier said the commission would not “harass” Arroyo, and that the commission would gather evidence not only against Arroyo but also against other government officials of the previous administration to bring “closure” to unresolved scandals.

An unlikely ally

Davide, however, found an unlikely ally in Arroyo’s eldest son, former Pampanga Rep. Juan Miguel “Mikey” Arroyo, who described Davide as a man of “renowned objectivity”.

“With his impeccable background and given his renowned objectivity in handling issues however controversial they are, I am highly optimistic that the Truth Commission, under CJ Davide’s helm, would come out with the most objective conclusion to the NBN-ZTE saga, clearing all those wrongfully accused by those who used the GMA Administration as their jumping board for their political objectives,” the younger Arroyo said.

Arroyo’s executive secretary, Leandro Mendoza, also gave the Truth Commission under Davide his vote of confidence, saying it would be fair to Arroyo.

“I personally know Chief Justice Davide and I believe in his fairness. He is good and very professional,” Mendoza said.

Davide was appointed chair of the Commission on Elections by Aquino’s mother, the late President Corazon Aquino.

In 1991, Mrs. Aquino appointed him as justice of the Supreme Court. He was subsequently named chief justice by former president Estrada in 1998.

Justice Secretary Leila de Lima said she would coordinate with the commission in prosecuting those that would be found responsible for irregularities in government.

Militant party-list group Bayan Muna was the first to file a criminal complaint against Arroyo over the botched $329-million national broadband network project in 2007.

Mrs. Arroyo appointed Davide as permanent representative to the United Nations, but the latter resigned in 2010 and supported Aquino’s candidacy. —VS, GMANews.TV

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You want the truth? Well, let the truth commission find out the truth about HACIENDA LUISITA! Let’s find out the truth about the massacre, the crap deal that is the SDO, and the continuing resistance of the Cojuangcos and Aquinos to the lawful distribution of the land. Don’t forget the SLEX deal, too! And etc., etc…

Although I’m no admirer of GMA, let us unmask this Truth Commission business for what it is — vengeance and persecution!

You want truth? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH, HOMER!

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