I’ve always wondered how a conversation between a Ngoyngoy supporter and an undecided intelligent voter would go.
Now I know. 🙂
PRO-NOY: Hey you! Have you decided on a candidate na?
UNDECIDED: Not yet.
PRO-NOY: Oh, great! Vote for Noynoy Aquino, ha? He’s my candidate!
UNDECIDED: Good for you. May I ask why you’re voting for him?
PRO-NOY: That’s easy! I love Tita Cory, no! I even made pila during her wake. Andaming tao! Laban! Laban!
UNDECIDED: Yes, I know. I went to that wake, too. I, uhm, made pila too. I’m asking you why vote for Noynoy?
PRO-NOY: Ninoy is a hero! Cory is virtually a saint and an acknowledged icon of democracy!
UNDECIDED: Yes, and you’re not answering my question. Let’s talk qualifications.
PRO-NOY: How can you not be for Noynoy? Don’t you love the Philippines? Don’t you appreciate what Cory and Ninoy died for? Didn’t you cry when they died?
UNDECIDED: I did! I love Cory and Ninoy as much as the next guy. Cory and Ninoy are NOT Noynoy.
PRO-NOY: Kung ano ang puno, yun ang bunga!
UNDECIDED: You mean like Kris Aquino?
PRO-NOY: Baby James is sooooo cute when he says “Noynoy” at the end of the supah-dupah commercial, di ba? Then he makes the “L” sign pa! He’s so bibo!
UNDECIDED: Let’s focus here.
PRO-NOY: Qualifications? Ano ka ba? He became a congressman and is a senator!
UNDECIDED: What legislative work did he do?
PRO-NOY: He’s a fiscalizer, no! How can you not know that? At chaka every time Kris and James fight, he makes them bati! Noy’s so galing talaga!
PRO-NOY: Haven’t you seen that so many people are wearing yellow baller bands and yellow shirts? So many yellow ribbons and stickers are all around you!
UNDECIDED: Is popularity a basis for voting?
PRO-NOY: Hindi ba?
UNDECIDED: You’re still not convincing me.
PRO-NOY: Who are you thinking about voting for ba?
UNDECIDED: I’m looking for someone who is qualified for the job.
PRO-NOY: Haven’t you been listening to me?
UNDECIDED: I have been and, frankly, your arguments are not convincing me.
PRO-NOY: At sino naman balak mong iboto? Yung pinsan ni Noy, yung mayaman, yung dating pangulo, yung taga Subic, yung pamangkin niya, yung vegetarian (oy, kampi namin yun!), yung titser, yung pastor, o yung na-disqualify?
UNDECIDED: Actually, they all seem to be more qualified than Noynoy.
PRO-NOY: Oy ha! You’re too much na, ha! Basta Noy tayo, ha. Yung walang bahid! Siya lang ganun!
UNDECIDED: What about the Hacienda Luisita massacre? What about that anomalous SCTEX deal? Kamag-anak, Inc.?
PRO-NOY: Hindi ka mag-iisaaaaaaaa (flashes “L” sign and sings a la Regine Velasquez)
UNDECIDED: Hay, mag-isa ka na nga at yang Noy mo!