Omnipotent, omniscient Noynoy Aquino

Princess Leia wants to be your Queen.

Noy is God.

Noy is all-knowing.

Everything that happens in this reality happens because Noy wills it.

If you believe the news on ABS-CBN, that is.

Was watching the ABS-CBN news last night (sometimes I wonder why I inflict that torture upon myself) and it seemed to me that most news items was either about Noynoy Aquino or about what other people did in the context of what Noy said.

You following? Good, because I’m getting dizzy.

How does it work?

Of course, the news team or editors ostensibly sit down and take stock of what material they have. Then they’d rank the news items for importance, presumably edit, and queue as expected.

That was before.

In these freaky days, I imagine this news team sit down and take stock of material and think:

“Do we have enough material on Noy?”

“Do we have enough negative stuff on the rest?”

“If we don’t have enough stuff on Noy, what stories can we link to him?”

“What else can we dig up?”

“Where else can we send Ces Orena-Drilon where she won’t be kidnapped? Yeah, keep her on the trail of Noy. Make her do remote stand-ups wherever Noynoy is! I mean, she’s a Drilon anyway. She’s as yellow as we are – maybe even more yellow!”

Yeah. That’s probably how it DOES happen. Paging Gabby Lopez.



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17 responses to “Omnipotent, omniscient Noynoy Aquino

  1. jane

    ABIAS-CBN. booo!!!

  2. dark fiend

    yeah,i agree…this is the result of the declining minutes of NA↓ in his tv ad.thus,the abs finds way how they can beautify,generous abs…

    thus,the abs-cbn nowadays could be named as

    Aquino Beauty Salon Consistently Beautifying Noynoy…binggo

  3. abcdef

    ABS = Aquino Bago Sambayan
    CBN =Creating a Bias Network

    ted failon: ako ang simula ng panggagago

  4. Keeping2myself

    To think I once held Maria Ressa in such high regard. So much for that!

  5. 12345

    sayang ka ricky carandang…tsk! tsk! tsk! isama mo na si tina palma…si karen davila…buti si luchi cruz wala na…where is the music, ricky?

  6. Masama ‘to. Unti-unti nang nawawala ang kredibilidad ng istasyon. Pero hindi ko rin masisisi ang mga tao, dahil ang istasyon mismo ang nagsimula nito. Goodluck ABS CBN in your future endeavours.

  7. I Couldn’t Agree More..

  8. Poppysmic

    Siraulo talaga yang abs cbn na yan together with ricky carandang, ces drilon and ted failon! eh puro makanoynoy yan e! ayoko talagang maging presidente yan ngoyngoy na yan! kahit si gordon! o gibo! Hindi ako bilib sa mga yan… hindi competent! tsaka mamaya secret candidate pa ni gma yan si gibo! kakatakot!

  9. Suzy Santos

    ABS CBN might not want to air debates too – just a waste of time for omnipresent noy-noy. he cannot do spontaneous speeches, kailangan may kodigo.

    Ngoy ngoy Aguino. He steals nothing, he DOES nothing AND he KNOWS NOTHING!!!!

  10. elmer

    mas maganda kung he DOES nothing (for 12 years of political career), he KNOWS nothing (even his grooming — so sloppy) but he STEALS everything (e.g. hacienda, credits of the legacy of his parents if there is, anti-corruption agent kuno)..

  11. Justme

    Noynoy supporters…gising gising…Phils future is at stake….maawa naman kayo sa mga susunod pang generation.

  12. Dr. Chez

    I concur. Ch. 2 has glorifies Noynoy and if (and I hope not) he wins, the Lopezes might as well tie strings to his limbs.

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