Welcome to Kris Aquino’s twisted world

A yellow win is a stranglehold on us all. HELP US, LORD!

On Tuesday 27th April 2010, @itsmekrisaquino (ALIAS THE KRITCH) said:

Noy was hoping to get the new Iphone 3G 32gig. Ako blackberry kasi. Not enough pa his Globe points- I had enough kasi all my assistants & yayas naka plan but I pay for all- so today Noy gets his new phone. Di ba so nakakatuwa how simple our future president is? That’s y mom always said, Kris-mag politics ka pag simple ka na.

HOLY CRAP! Let’s do a countdown on this mind-boggling Tweet that left me speechless and nauseated.

Top 5 mind-numbing boasts about Kris’s Tweet

5. Kris boasts about her Blackberry. Oh, grow up, Kritch.

4. Kris boasts that all her assistants and YAYAs have post-paid cell phones — and Kris PAYS FOR ALL.

3. Kris boasts about her sh*tload of Globe points.

2. Kris boasts about how simple her brother is. Simple is my ass.

And the number one boasts.

1. NOYNOY IS OUR FUTURE PRESIDENT. If that happens, may a black hole suck us all up because the Philippines will be renamed the Republic of Cojuangco.



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12 responses to “Welcome to Kris Aquino’s twisted world

  1. Hi there fellow blogger! I made a poll and it is about your bet this coming 2010 election. The survey is very simple, choose your president and vice-president. As you can see, I just want two results, a president and a vice-president, these two are the most important because they are the persons who will finalize everything, from bills, laws, government projects, cabinet officials and other government-related issues. With this I can gather information and make a tally of your votes. Please visit the link to vote. Bloggers’ Choice This Coming 2010 Election


  2. adolfo mortera

    see, she is nuts, needs to see a psychiatrist as well. she is shallow, trivial, ultra vain, mahangin, bastos (she cuts guests during interviews when responding to her own questions), opportunistic and user (i recall last sunday’s the buzz when she repeatedly called charice as her inaanak – maybe to gain brownie points for election?), presumptuous (she thinks the world should listen and would love to listen to her when she chronicles every bit of her family life, and her endless chatter about baby james)…

    can you add more?

  3. oceanofred

    Oh Kris, please don’t be assuming that your brother will be the 15th President of our country. Kaya nga gusto ko talagang matalo brother niya, not only for our country, but also to see her reaction when NA loses on this election.

  4. Obviously Kris refused to grow-up and remained being either a child or a teeny booper.

    I can’t imagine what his role in politics once her brother sits in the Palace. “Yong bro ko presidente!”

  5. easydoesit

    remember during the start of the campaign when kris would always say, “believe me, you WANT to be MY friend”? that early she felt like packing her bags for her return to the Palace.

    sayang lang maraming Pilipino ang hindi nakakabasa ng mga exchange dito sa Internet. Ang kilala lang nila TV Patrol, DZMM at Bandila. Kaya ang magaling lang sa kanila si Noy at ang star ng buhay nila ay si Kris.

    Star Margarine.

    I hope that destiny will give this family a good lesson on humility.

  6. Dr. Chez

    The KROTCH needs a bitch slap from E. Honda. Reality check, bitch! Sorry. Had too much coffee today. I’ll comment again later after the caffeine has worn off.

  7. thinker-belle

    Kung simple na pala ang iPhone, I don’t know how I’d classify my cellphone that costs even less than 3/4 of how much that “simple” $h!t is worth.

    Yeah, that’s definitely a great way to rub in the fact that the Aquinos do not understand poverty.

    Sabi nga ni Balsy, spoiled daw ang farmers ng Hacienda Luisita di ba?

    The acronym SLAMAT LORRRD would only be useful when Noynoy loses 🙂 Salamat Lord talaga! Spare us from this insanity!

  8. Do

    stupid b!tch acting like abnoy’s already won. never liked her

  9. Dr. Chez

    An iPhone 3Gi with 32GBs of RAM is simple? Damn. I guess that makes my phone (<Php5k) a lump of excrement? The Krotch is one smug twit, isn't she, so assured that her brother is the next President. Pinoys, if you value your lives, please don't vote for her brother. We need change but theirs isn't it.

    So. Boom-tee-ya-yah, boom-tee-ya-yah, boom-tee-ya-yah, boom-tee-ya-yah…….

  10. mulatpinoy

    not only will we have a pathetic and inept president if NA wins but we have to witness Kris Aquino’s blatant self-promotions, brash hosting jobs and lousy “acting ability”, watching her in a teleserye is plain torture….Is Abiased CBN taking its utang ng loob to the Aquino family too far by taking in Bratinella and now supporting Abnoy? (remember cory gave back meralco without asking them to pay back their debts to the government) Why is Ninoy and Cory’s legacy being used against the Filipino people? Why? We deserve better…

  11. thinker-belle

    I hope more people will open their eyes before the big day. It will be such a feat to see the faces of die-hard yellow dimwits when their beloved chosen one loses considering how confident (and boastful) they are because of those not-really-accurate surveys. I heard Ramos say in an interview before that people should not be influenced by the surveys because it doesn’t reflect the real results of the elections. He himself didn’t do well in the surveys, but still, he won the presidency.

    I AM FOR NINOY, not Noynoy!

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