Well, hello everyone! It’s been quite a while. Don’t worry. I’m still here.
And I’m still angry.
I know it’s bad for our health, but what can we do? We are being dragged, kicking and screaming, into an Aquino presidency. The Homer Simpson-Apu tandem will shortly assume its post and man the convenience store that is Malacanang.
To say that we are waiting for Noynoy to bungle the job is an understatement. To say that we are wishing for him to bungle the job is unfair, but we can only realistically expect so much from a man who has proven so little.
Eternal optimists we are.
* * *
Here are words that take unlikely meaning in this new era of apprehension and underachievement. I’ve used them in context for you to better appreciate their usage.
- MAR: (noun) Abandoned and betrayed sucker. As in: “Screw my bestfriend! I hate him. He ran off with my girlfriend and made me a MAR!”
- KRISPEDIDA: (noun) Fake promise. As in: “My daddy said he’d buy me a Porsche when I graduated. What a KRISPEDIDA that turned out to be. Check out the Chery QQ in our garage!”
- PEPINGGER: (verb) To secretly betray. May be used in conjunction with MAR, but might be redundant. As in: “Holy crap! I learned I was PEPINGGERED by my brother, who’s now dating my Internet girlfriend! I feel like such a MAR.”
- CORONA: (noun) A person in a position of authority yet doesn’t get any respect. As in: “BP’s CEO is now a certified CORONA. Expect people to hurl eggs at him in public.”
- HYATT 10: (noun) Extremely opportunistic media whores: As in. “Don’t you think Kris Aquino is such a HYATT 10? She used all her programs to prop up brother Noynoy’s campaign.
- NOYNOY: (noun) Yaya of special kids. As in: “I really admire my neighbor’s Noynoy. He cares so much about his autistic ward. I wish all Noynoys were like him.
- ABAD HAIR DAY: (adjective) Ugly and bald. As in: “Pare, sorry to say but your ABAD HAIR DAY face is making me vomit.”
- TED FAILON: (noun) Unofficial spokesperson of a shady organization. As in: “I don’t want any Ronald McDonald explanation. Who’s the Ted Failon of your shabu dealership?”
- CES DRILON: (noun) Shameless bias. As in: “Oh come on, Daddy! I know you don’t like my boyfriend. You didn’t like him from Day One! You are such a Ces Drilon!”
- BABY JAMES: (noun) Intelligent, brave kid. As in: “How come I don’t see that Baby James bunso of Mang Ketong? They probably enrolled him in genius school.”