Waiting for Kamag-anak, Inc.’s IPO

For love or love of money? Who can resist a shopping spree, ass-wipe? Inggit lang kayo!

Perhaps we all should have been given earlier notice about contributors and their “selfless” donations to the campaign kitty.

But, really, are you still surprised that the number one contributor to P-Ngoy is a Cojuangco? Mr. Tonyboy Cojuangco (also known as Gretchen Barretto’s PAPA) donated a cool P100 million in support of his nephew’s tomfoolery.

Oh, and did you know that P-Ngoy claimed to have received a total of P440,050,000 in contributions but only spent P403,119,981.81 during the campaign. The rest was used to get his Botox injections and teeth whitening sessions.

Back to Tonyboy, this indeed shows that blood is thicker than water – and that Kamag-Anak, Inc. is a great investment! Expect it to make an IPO soon.

* * *

Aquino investment: Meanwhile, the Kritch contributed P15 million, and other P-Ngoy sisters Pinky and Balsy gave P5M and P3M respectively. That really explains why James Yap is going after neighborhood girls. Out-of-town trysts can get real expensive, and Kritch holds all the money.

* * *

Do you have an appointment? P-Ngoy was quoted as saying “Thank you, at least it lessened my headaches” when he learned PAGCOR chairman and FG tropa Efraim Genuino resigned from his post even after getting a fresh appointment from PGMA.

Noynoy is now studying whether to appoint Ogie Alcasid to the post.

But, seriously, who’s going to solve OUR headache that is Noynoy?

* * *

What a Dick: I don’t know what to make of Sen. Dick Gordon’s recent display of support (affection?) for the President-HELLect.

“I am leaving it to the incoming president. I am very sure he will make a good decision for our country and hopefully they would be able to fix the problem of our country,” he said in an interview. “We will not always be fighting. I am willing to give my help if they would need it.”

We know, of course, that Dick had been very vocal about his distaste for P-Ngoy. Does he want a cushy post? Perhaps another stint at the DOT? Won’t be surprised if he does get it. C’mon Dick. Show some balls, too!

* * *

Eto nAPO siya: Speaking of DOT, some people are floating the name of APO Hiking’s Jim Paredes as Tourism Sec. That can save them a bundle on a theme song.

* * *

This little piggy: William (Bil-Billy) Esposo is so in-love with TJ Manotoc’s coined term “V-Nay” that he kept mentioning it ad nauseam in his column. Get a room, for crying out loud.

Anyway, he said that, among other things, P-Ngoy is wary of giving V-Nay the powerful DILG portfolio because he needs to consider that V-Nay is not an LP ally, and that “There is the pressure of how his defeated running mate Mar Roxas will feel about the V-Nay appointment. Being the good friend that he is, P-Noy has been bending over backward for Mar since Mar’s defeat became evident.”

Excuse me? Good friend? When did he actually display his being a good friend to Mar? When he eased him out of his Presidential ambition? When he made LAGLAG in favor of V-Nay? Friends like P-Ngoy are the type that would give you a gun if you were suicidal.



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14 responses to “Waiting for Kamag-anak, Inc.’s IPO

  1. tontondaga


    • tontondaga

      On Dick: If he shows how much of a dick he is to PEENOY, that’s minus minus for Dick and PI, in general. counterproductive. Hope PEENOY gives him a post, then Dick can be a rightful dick and crit his boss.

      To the Yellow Army, LOLs on them for thinking volunteers catapulted PEENOY.

  2. Dickhead

    Can’t blame my bet. Yellow zombies WILL call him AMPALAYA if he didn’t praise his retarded mudslinger opponent.

    • ArticleRequest

      Now that I remember it, the yellow zombies also attacked and laughed at environmentalist Nick Perlas and councilor JC de los Reyes for broadcasting their we-surrender-to-the-Chosen-Yellow-ones statement late.

      I hope the Dick gets a post, bides his time, and exposes that yellow Homer Simpson for who he really is.

      Yes Noynoy for who he REALLY is. Not Mr. Tadhana, Chosen One, Anak-bayani, etc.

      Expose him for being Mr. Sloth, Lazy, Antok, Nakatulog sa Gitna ng Plenaryo, 0 law passing ass. Noynoy the guy who got a salary for doing nothing, the guy we spend our taxes on.

      Wanna get rid of corruption and lazy officials? Shoot Noynoy in the head.

      • Edward

        “Now that I remember it, the yellow zombies also attacked and laughed at environmentalist Nick Perlas and councilor JC de los Reyes for broadcasting their we-surrender-to-the-Chosen-Yellow-ones statement late.”

        They haven’t surrendered yet. They are still questioning the legalities and security of the last election. Together with Jamby (I call them the principled three) and other civil society groups, they are still calling for transparency.


        As usual ampalaya is the common dirt to hide and smear the skepticism.

  3. ann

    wohoo! babaha ng pabor

  4. arm

    Abnoy’s statement about one less headache for him was utterly arrogant. Someone should teach this guy some humility!

  5. A-Nay


    More like A-Nay (“A”quino-B”nay”)

  6. blissfulcow

    Tonyboy is the tito of Noy?

  7. Edward

    shameful to think that the public can be convinced by throwing them money. That’s probably what the Kamag-Anak Inc. think of when they started pouring their money.

  8. mulatpinoy

    P100 million to put a cousin in the seat of power? wow! they really enjoy the idea of having a conquangco in malacanang tsk tsk.. to spend millions of pesos and get nothing in return? come on, who are you kidding? you could have just donated it to charity if you really want to help mr. conjuangco… guess we can expect subtle political favors accorded the coquangco clan and their yellow cronies in abnoy’s admin, and yes, history will repeat itself and justice for hacienda luisita farmers will be buried deep in the acres of land of the conquangcos…

  9. ProveMeWrongNoy

    Sadly, that seems to be what happened. 14M members of the public, supposedly. Good luck to us.

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